Ever since I can remember I have dreamt of living in a space surrounded by mountains, forests and rivers. And now, finally, having reached a point in my life when I no longer had commitments that bound me to a city life, I sold my house in the city, and moved to a small village in the Overberg district of the Western Cape, called Greyton.
This is not the first time I have moved. I wonder at the nine moves I have undertaken since my early adulthood. Three of those were by choice; the rest circumstantially provoked. I hope however that having used up my nine “lives” as it were, this is the last move I will have undertaken pending my final move into the great unknown at the time of my death. Perhaps the fact that Greyton is literally at the end of the road before the mountains, I can take that symbolically.
According to an article by Will Stone published in the Express that lists the major stressors we might experience in our lifetime, I have been exposed to all of the top stressors and most of them precipitated the need to move. It is perhaps small wonder that having now moved into a place that some have called a piece of heaven, I have finally been able to take the time out to rest and heal. I do aologise to the users of my website for not having kept up the pace of regularly posting new articles, but at the same time I have needed the past three years to just STOP the rushing need to DO and enjoy the peace of this moment in time.
And this is where I pause to reflect. Perhaps a parallel can be drawn here between the physical act of moving house and the emotional act of moving on; of letting go of anger, self doubt, self deprecation and other dark emotions that come with the territory of traumatic life events. Both are hard decisions to make and, as with all decisions, both involve the reality of loss and gain. There are many who talk about moving on as if it were the easiest thing in the world. And yet it is so hard and so much easier to become a prisoner of the things that have been done to us; that have hurt, disrupted and traumatised our lives. Sometimes it seems to be impossible to set them aside and make a deliberate choice to move on. And yet it is those moments of decision, what I like to call the moving moments of our lives, that spur us on and move us forwards on our life’s not always easy journey. And since so often these moving moments come with deeper insights and understanding, they should be treasured in our memory banks as the golden cornerstones of our foundations.
I think a mistake that many make is the, in my opinion, false belief, that moving on from past hurts and pain means forgiving and forgetting. I believe that tryig to do this in a forced way could be the very thing that anchors us into not moving forward in a healthy way. These are topics for another time but I would like to say that I am not a believer in cheap grace. What I do believe is that the memories of both the traumas and the successes and joys of our past, are what makes up the tapestry of who we are in the present. To negate the one and only focus on the other can lead to an unhealthy imbalance in our holistic wholeness. A healthy heart beats up and down along the life line – it is the manic heart that ticks up and up and the depressed one that ticks down and down. So I do not promote forgetting; just not drowning in the quagmire of our hurts.
As with a household move, a decision to “move on” comes with its own special kinds of rewards. There is the culling of unwanted baggage, taking with us items and memories that will enrich the new life, and a stirring of our creative energies as we plan our future both inner and outer gardens and decorate our new both inner and outer homes. It is a process of looking forward as we meet and engage with new people and new life experiences in a positive way.